Boo!

I think I'll take Halloween off, this year. I have no real desire, at this time, to engage in the usual festivies. I've certainly had my share of parties, over the years. I still remember the excitement Oct. 31 used to bring me. I probably threw, arguably, the greatest decorated rave cave parties, back in my heyday. I sometimes wish those times were still around. But, I guess I'm better off that they are in the past. The year 2000, when I covered the entire apartment in black trash bags, glow paint and blacklights. That was awesome. With the electric, severed hand and fake blood, all over the bathroom and tub. You know it's a great time, when people you don't know tell you, months later, how much they enjoyed it. But, time keeps slipping, and energy levels keep draining. I need to buy my own property, soon, so I can have huge parties again. Not this year, however. I need to rest up...

Stormy Day

I wonder if a raindrop can comprehend that it's life is near completion right before it crashes into the pavement. Sometimes, I feel like that raindrop. Not knowing, at first, where it came from. Then gradually, with help from gravity, or time, it formulates a personality. A raindrop that won't stand alone, is just a puddle. Imagine free falling from a cloud, just taking in all the atmosphere, all the while hurtling towards the inevitable. The drops that aren't strong enough, soon evaporate into infinity. The strong ones know that they must see things through to the end, no matter what. I mean, they must realize the futility of their situation. But, I guess maybe they just take comfort in the fact that, at least for that one stormy day, they exsisted.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The thoughts don't come as often, but they still happen. The measures I started seem to be working, at least partially. It's strange, how one day, you just wake up and decide it's time to change the way you think. Things that you never thought you would change, just seem more attainable. It's surprising how much your spirit will give in, when you want it to. Things I told myself, from a young age, wouldn't be important, are suddenly vital. I catch myself worrying about things that I never used to even notice before. I hate feeling like I'm selling out my soul, but I guess everyone goes through this. And, is it still selling out, if it's actually better for you? Is it an early mid-life crisis? If some of my thoughts are to be believed, it's more like an end of life crisis.