In The Past

I miss you... There, I said it. I have a hard time admitting it, but I often reminisce about how you would make me feel. All alone in my room, my memories are all that is left. I would see you again; I think I'd even like that, but things are different now. You were all I had then. I still miss you, but we both know our relationship was destructive. I had to move on, and leave you in my past. That's not to say I'll ever be able to forget you. I'm just trying to prove I can evolve.

Spring...

Spring comes to the forest of fear. People change, without shedding a tear. I sit alone, on my branch way up high. I'm out of their reach. Even as they try to teach. I'm watching all of life's lessons fly by.

Maybe I'll come down. Feel my feet on the ground. But I don't see any good reason below. I'm still stuck in this tree. I'm afraid to be me. I'm just waiting for the winds of change to blow.

Random Update

Spring, already! Arrgh... I just realized my last post was in December. I'm doing all right, I guess. Still here, that's all that matters. I've been having rather vivid dreams, lately. Sometimes I wake up and try to write them down, but always seem to forget the main points, so I give up.
I've been trying to write more. I may even get back into painting. Or, at least some sketching. I miss being creative. Even though I don't have the patience to be that good at it. It's still a great outlet.
Another B'day went by, in January. It usually affects me, but for some reason, not this year. Yep, I need to get back into my writing. New stuff coming soon.

Stage Four

You put up a courageous battle, but it was against a stronger foe.
Although we never talked as much as we should have, a better sister-in-law, I may never know.
RIP Sandra Boyer-Sharpe.

Nice Day

I've been feeling pretty good, lately. Not sure why, but I'll take it. I've been better at staying in the moment, which helps. No worrying about the future, no living in the past. Just experience each day, and wait for the next. It may sound naive, but I'm a pretty naive individual. The only thing I've noticed lately, is a slight lack of focus. I get distracted easier than I used to. But, all in all, I feel better than I felt last winter. Which is all the matters.

The Ride

We may be in the same car, but I'm traveling my own road.
We speak the same language, but to me it sounds like code.
We all end up in the same place, no matter how fast we drive.
We know what it is to exist, but I don't know how to feel alive.
I can only keep on riding, staring out at each passing night.
Once we have come to a stop, my days will have lost all of their light.

Boo!

I think I'll take Halloween off, this year. I have no real desire, at this time, to engage in the usual festivies. I've certainly had my share of parties, over the years. I still remember the excitement Oct. 31 used to bring me. I probably threw, arguably, the greatest decorated rave cave parties, back in my heyday. I sometimes wish those times were still around. But, I guess I'm better off that they are in the past. The year 2000, when I covered the entire apartment in black trash bags, glow paint and blacklights. That was awesome. With the electric, severed hand and fake blood, all over the bathroom and tub. You know it's a great time, when people you don't know tell you, months later, how much they enjoyed it. But, time keeps slipping, and energy levels keep draining. I need to buy my own property, soon, so I can have huge parties again. Not this year, however. I need to rest up...